Dear The Kid:
So, okay. Why do you go barefoot?
You on a budget?
Signed, Proud Yet Protected

Dear Proud Yet Protected:
Thanks for your profound yet emoticon-free email. I’m going to assume you’re not my neighbour’s teenage kid, so I’ll take the high road and dive into your questions.
Question 2. Yes, I am on a budget.
Question 1. That’s not why I go barefoot.
Here’s why I go barefoot:

And here’s why I go barefoot: Chris McDougall’s Excellent TED Talk
It seems like we humans have been doing this for a while – that would include yours and my great (x 10,000 generations ago) grandfather and grandmother. Let me know if you need any more “rationale”, Proud Yet Protected.
And you see how smoothly I avoided the whole thing of going barefoot because I’m on a budget – and getting drawn into that whole so-funny-I-forgot-to-laugh thing? That too is a learned skill.
Which I will share with you on another day, Proud Yet Protected.
Oh yes.
Signed, Most Assuredly, The Kid

Dear The Kid
Touche. You win.
Signed: Humbled – Yet Strangely Still Protected

Dear Humbled – Yet Strangely Still Protected
Naturally. What?
Signed, The Kid

Dear The Kid
Touche. It means you win.
Signed, Humbled – Yet Strangely Still Protected

Dear Humbled – Yet Strangely Still Protected
I knew that.
Signed, The Kid

Dear The Kid,
Should I go barefoot? I don’t know if I have the nerve.
Signed, Willing, But Shy

Dear Willing, But Shy
One question. Were you born with shoes on? Of course you should go barefoot.

Stop being such a pansy.
The Kid

Dear The Kid,
I don’t follow your logic. We were born with no clothes on. Do you mean we should all go around naked?
Signed, Willing, But Shy

Dear Willing, But Maybe Not So Shy
Are you from the press? Because I’ve had bad experiences with the press (well, one) twisting my words around and all that and trying to make me say something I didn’t say? Because if you’re with the press, I think you should at least come by and get a photo. At least give me that much. I’m at 449 Slater. Basement suite. Use the side door (not the front). And come between, say, 3:15 and 3:30. On Tuesdays. Thanks.
Signed, The Kid

Dear The Kid,
No, I’m not with the press. I’m just nervous about going barefoot. Maybe stepping on something, you know.
Signed, Willing, But Now I See My Problem

Dear Willing, But Now (You) See (Your) Problem
Don’t step on anything.
Next!
Signed, The Kid

Dear The Kid:
Why do you wear a skirt when it’s so kold (sic) out?
Signed, Confused But a Fan

Dear Confused But a Fan:
Thanks so much for pointing this out (as if I haven’t heard it before).
First let me point out…

It’s not a SKIRT, it’s a ZEPETE. 
Rhymes with zip-it-eh! It’s Raramuri for – well, I don’t know what, but not a SKIRT!!!! Okay? Message received everybody?
ZEPETE. ZEPETE. ZEPETE. ZEPETE. ZEPETE.
Thank you.
So, I don’t want to hear about it again.
It’s not that I’m sensitive, because I’m not.
You can’t afford to be sensitive when you’re out there living the unconventional.
That’s a lesson for everybody.
Don’t be sensitive. Don’t be crushed (courtesy of the great Dr. Natron Diamond).
And, oh, yeah, I have winter gear. When it snows, I wear the ZEPETE on top. For inspiration.
So, are we finally good on the skirt thing?
Dang.
Signed, The Kid